Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
