oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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