just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
