Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
