smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
