Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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