Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
