bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
