CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
