Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
