After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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