I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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