Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
