There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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