Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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