i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
