I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
