After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
