I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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