I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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