Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
