have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
where does the pee come out of this thing
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
