SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
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