Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
