So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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