i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
