I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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