Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
