Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
