ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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