I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
