you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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