it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
