love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
