ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you will always have a special place in my vag
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
