just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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