I showed him my bush... on skype.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
