It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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