your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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