i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
