If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
