You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
