We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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