So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
