quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
