I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
