Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
