I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
