You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
