Screwed.edu
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You smell like stripper and shame
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
