I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
